I just read some pieces by Tal Ben Shahar -- the author of HAPPIER and a lecturer at Harvard with the largest course on "Positive Psychology."
I was so impressed with Tal's happiness theories. I emailed him, and I thought I'd share a paragraph from our email exchange -- where he shared a quickie long lasting love tip.
Tal Ben Shahar says:
"Self reflection is an important tool for creating a long lasting relationship. Very often we are the ones responsible for bringing 'bad fits' into our lives - or having wrong expectations about what it takes to have a thriving relationship. For example, many people believe that finding the right partner is sufficient for a long-term successful relationship. The mistaken notion that finding love guarantees eternal bliss leads partners to neglect the journey, the day-to-day of the relationship. Would anyone seriously entertain the notion that once he found his dream job, the ideal workplace, he would no longer need to work hard? Imagine walking into the office after finding your dream job and sitting down, legs up, looking outside the window and saying, 'I found it. Finally, I found it.'.... And doing nothing else.... Such an approach would inevitably lead to failure. Once we find our dream job, that’s when we really begin to work hard. It is no different when it comes to relationships: the real, hard work ought to begin after we fall in love."
2 comments:
I just bought 2 of her books used off Amazon. Ballsy and Gut for a total of 10 cents plus S&H. I'll let you know how insightful they are.
This was an interesting topic Jer. I agree that once you find the perfect love that doesn't mean you can stop working at it. If anything it takes harder work to keep that perfect love. I think too often people take love for granted as well as their partner. You wouldn't take a job for granted so why would you do that to a partner?
Thanks for sharing this one. Let me know how the books are.
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